


Lost memories

by Lenatoutcourt



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Amnesiac Mickey Milkovich, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Closeted Mickey Milkovich, Endgame Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Gallavich Endgame, Happy Ending, Ian Gallagher and Mandy Milkovich are Best Friends, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich Happy Ending, Jealous Ian Gallagher, Jealous Mickey Milkovich, Lost Love, M/M, Mickey and Ian are kind of brothers in law, More tag with the next chapter, Parent Ian Gallagher, Protective Mandy Milkovich, Terry is dead, happy ending gallavich, sad beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17862239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenatoutcourt/pseuds/Lenatoutcourt
Summary: Ian had finally managed to balance his illness a few months after Mickey's incarceration for attempted murder.Realizing everything he had lost had been a hardship for him, and only taking care of Yevgeny kept him on the road.This little fellow constantly reminded him of the man he loved and warmed his heart with his sweetness.But even though Mickey was in jail, far from his family and Ian Terry didn't want to stop there, he was determined to kill him.Mickey managed to survive this attack, but pays a heavy price.





	1. Karma is a bitch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mrsz0905](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrsz0905/gifts), [themetalmotel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/themetalmotel/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian had finally managed to balance his illness a few months after Mickey's incarceration for attempted murder.
> 
> Realizing everything he had lost had been a hardship for him, and only taking care of Yevgeny kept him on the road.  
> This little fellow constantly reminded him of the man he loved and warmed his heart with his sweetness.
> 
> But even though Mickey was in jail, far from his family and Ian Terry didn't want to stop there, he was determined to kill him.
> 
> Mickey managed to survive this attack, but pays a heavy price.

Ian had met a guy in the drive thru where he stopped to eat something before heading back to the road.

This guy had told him at length about the reincarnation principle he believed in. A principle according to which each of our decisions in this life would influence the reincarnation that would take place at our death.

 

Ian had drawn some conclusions from this long discussion.

 

First, smoking too much weed incited people to approach strangers to talk to them about reincarnation for hours.

Secondly, he had surely done a ton of bullshit in his previous life for karma to be pretty awful to him in this life.

  
  


It was his parents who throughout his childhood and adolescence had pretty much screwed up both his and his siblings life in a big way.

Subsequently, it was the declaration of his illness that sounded like a death warrant in his ears. All he had managed to build, all he had managed to get, everything had been washed away by this fucking disease.

 

He had finally managed to control his life again, but when he turned around, his life had become a field of ruins.

His career hopes had vanished, his family was looking at him as a monster about to explode at any moment, and more than anything, he had lost the man he loved.

 

His relationship with Mickey had never been easy, but there was one thing he had never doubted was that they loved each other.

He knew it at the beginning when Mickey didn't even want to kiss him, he knew it deep inside him when Mickey had been forced to marry Svetlana, he knew it when they got back together, and he still knew it today.

 

But now Mickey was no longer with him. He was locked up for wanting revenge for his scumbag  half-sister who had reported him to the military police.

 

Debbie had also participated in this revenge, but Mickey had never told the cops. As a result, he was the only one in jail.

 

In all this chaos that was his life, Ian still had a hope, a little light that showed him day after day that life could improve. Only from the darkest of swamps could the most beautiful and innocent flowers be born.

 

Like Mickey before him, Yevgeny was born in the chaos and horror of the Milkovich family.

 

Ian could never have talked about his conception without feeling his heart tear in two.

However, he was happy that this little being was here today. It was also for him that Ian was in this drive thru tonight, and that he had had to undergo this long discussion.

 

Ian had finally managed to balance his illness a few months after Mickey was taken to jail.

 

Realizing everything he had lost had been a hardship for him, and only taking care of Yevgeny with Svetlana had kept him on the road.

This little fellow constantly reminded him of the man he loved and warmed his heart with his sweetness.

The cohabitation with Svetlana wasn't easy at first, especially since his illness didn't help the young woman to trust him.

However, a brief harmony settled between them to create what was closest to a family in their eyes.

 

Although this little happiness couldn't be perfect without Mickey, they tried every day to do their best.

 

But karma was definitely a bitch, who hadn't finished with them yet.

Karma, or rather Terry Milkovich.

As soon as he was released from prison he had landed at the Milkovich house, where everyone was still squatting until Mickey's return.

 

Ian had fought with him and managed to gain the upper hand long enough to run away with Svetlana and Yevgeny.

 

He had first tried to take refuge in the Gallagher home, but he soon realized that Terry didn't intend to leave them alone.

Ian thought he got rid of him when the cops arrested him for breaking into their home, but he was quickly released.

 

There was no doubt about Terry's intentions, he would attack them again and again until he got what he wanted. Ian's death, and the stranglehold on Yevgeny's education and life.

Fortunately, Terry wasn't the only Milkovich with relationships. Iggy and Mandy managed to find a place to live outside Chicago.

 

Despite all this hustle and Terry's attempts to attack, Ian couldn't help but want to see Mickey or at least communicate with him.

This urge, unfortunately, allowed Terry to find them through one of his contacts in the prison where Mickey was locked up.

 

Unfortunately for them, Terry's attack did more damage this time, because he deprived Yevgeny of his mother forever.

 

Ian managed to escape, taking the young Milkovich with him.

 

He had then found Mandy in a nearby town and had spent several months living with her and Yev as hermits.

The only trips outside they allowed themself were Ian's visits to his new doctor for his medication.

Even though the shock of Svetlana's attack and death had shaken up Ian, he had pretty much managed to control himself, keeping in mind that a new crisis on his part would surely spell the end of their escape.

 

Svetlana's death had, however, put a lot of questions in Ian's mind. He knew that Terry's two targets were himself and Yevgeny. And he also knew that all those who would seek to help them would be in danger.

And it was this thought that drove him to go on the road with Yevgeny leaving Mandy asleep in their hotel room.

 

He had left her a note to try to reassure her. He told her that he wasn't in the middle of a manic crisis, but he knew he would not be able to convince her easily because of his way of acting. He had promised to keep Yevgeny safe and to call them as often as possible to give them the news.

 

Three months had passed since that day, three months during which Ian hadn't stopped looking over his shoulder.

Three months during which he had moved from town to town.

Three months during which he couldn't communicate with Mickey.

Three horrible months.

 

Although wacky in his eyes, this discussion of karma was a loop in his head and gave him a furious desire to know how Mickey was doing. It had been a week since he had called Mandy.

 

He paid the bill for his meal, picked up Yevgeny's stuff and carried the baby to their car. Sleeping in this car wasn't very comfortable, but it was the best way for them to travel quickly without a trace.

 

Ian took a phone out of the glove box before looking at the young child with a smile.

 

"We're going to call Aunt Mandy ..." He announced happily.

 

Yevgeny chirped at Ian's smile.

 

Ian knew, without Yevgeny by his side, he would have lost his mind a long time ago.

 

The waiting ring sounded for a few moments in his ears before Mandy picked up.

 

"Oh my God, Ian!"

 

The young woman's tone scared her friend.

 

She seemed frightened.

 

" What’s happening?!? Did Terry find you? Is he- " He started before being cut by Mandy.

 

" He’s dead."

 

"Tell me you're talking about Terry, please ..." Ian begged, suddenly struck by the fear of losing Mickey forever.

 

"Yes, Terry. That bastard is dead," she said without any trouble.

 

"Thank God," Ian cried, relieved that they were finally rid of this monster and that it was not Mickey.

 

"But ..." began Mandy shyly.

 

" But what?!? What's going on Mandy! "Ian growled again in doubt.

 

"He managed to organize an attack against Mickey in prison," She explained softly.

"What?!? Tell me he's fine please, " Ian begged.

 

"He's alive," she said bluntly.

 

"Alive ... Why, why are you saying that like this?!?" He asked, feeling his heart racing.

 

"Ian! Please calm down. Tell me where you are, I'll come and get you- " She began before being cut off in her tracks by Ian's scared voice.

 

" I’ll come-"

 

" No. You don't move! I don't want you to drive. I'm coming." she said firmly.


	2. Mickey is fine ... Physically he's fine ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Terry had already tried to kill Mickey in prison more than once. Mickey is the kind of man to make friends easily in this kind of place and they were powerful enough to help him... Four guys tried to attack him, but they were stopped before they killed him..."

Although it was necessary for him to constantly move with Yevgeny, Ian used to stay close enough to Chicago if there were any problems. So he only had to wait an hour before Mandy arrived.

This hour, however, had taken an eternity in Ian's eyes. Staying there while Mickey was in a condition he knew nothing about was unbearable to him.

 

A cloud of dust rose in the air when Iggy stopped the car a few steps from theirs. Mandy slid down the passenger seat and framed Ian's face with her hands. She watched him silently for several minutes before asking.

 

"How are you feeling? You think you're going to have a crisis- "she began to question.

 

"Fuck! Mandy! Tell me what's going on! How's Mickey ?!" Ian grumbled, trying to finally get the answers to the questions that terrorized him.

 

"He is fine! I promise you ... " She affirmed, staring into his eyes.

 

"I want to see him!" Growled Ian.

 

"Soon ..." She promised.

 

"Why soon?!? I want to see him now! "He said disturbed by his friend's behavior.

 

" No!"

 

"Why?" He questioned.

 

Ian felt his heart quicken in his chest. Mandy's words had no coherence for him. If Mickey was fine, there was no reason he couldn't see him.

 

"Calm down," she ordered.

 

" Everything is fine. I just want to make sure you're not risking anything ... that you're not going to have a crisis ... do you understand? "

 

Mandy was staring at Ian, looking for any sign of his illness.

 

Ian lowered his eyes slowly to the ground before nodding.

 

"Well. Iggy will go back with Yev, and we'll take his car and meet your doctor. I informed her on the way, she is waiting for us. Once we're sure everything's okay, I'll take you home. "

 

The thought of not being able to see Mickey immediately was painful for Ian, but he knew that his illness had more than once separated them from one another, and he didn't want to risk losing Mickey again.

 

It wasn't until the doctor's office that Mandy finally agreed to explain to Ian Mickey's condition.

 

"Terry had already tried to kill Mickey in prison more than once. Mickey is the kind of man to make friends easily in this kind of place and they were powerful enough to help him... Four guys tried to attack him, but they were stopped before they killed him... In fact, Mickey knew that Terry was going to attack. He even deliberately provoked him. "

 

Ian didn't hide his surprise at Mandy's explanation but remained silent.

 

"He knew that Terry would sooner or later send someone to kill him. So he made sure to remind him everything he hated about him... and that worked. Colin recorded Terry when he requested Mickey's murder. "

 

"Colin?!?" Ian wondered, surprised by his friend's confession.

 

"Yes ... He had been staying with Terry for a while, but in the end, he realized that this monster would spare no one. That he would kill anyone who got in his way ... So when Iggy contacted him again to ask for his help he accepted ... It was dangerous. If Colin didn't accept, all our hope could be ruined. But luckily for us, he was on our side, and he recorded everything for weeks. He was the only one who could do that ... All the other family members couldn't get close to that bastard who was our father." Mandy said.

 

"How did he ..." Ian began to ask almost timidly as if asking that question might bring him back from the dead.

 

"How did he die? When trying to escape the cops. They came as soon as they had the recording. Several of them had been dreaming for a while of seeing Terry permanently at the hole. So you can imagine their joy when they heard the recording ... He wanted to run away and ended up under the wheels of a truck. "

 

The young woman had explained the death of her father without showing any sign of sadness.

 

Understanding the astonishment of the young doctor sitting across from her, Mandy added.

 

"My father was the worst man on Earth, and the worst of fathers. In addition to that, he was a racist, pedophile, criminal, and a homophobe. So you can imagine how he reacted when he learned that his son was gay ... "

 

Mandy's explanation seemed in a sense to reassure the young woman. Maybe she was afraid that Ian's best friend turned out to be a potential psychopath.

 

"You’ll probably think I'm crazy, but to tell the truth, it was even a pretty funny death ..." she added with a smile.

 

"Funny?" The doctor asked.

 

"Yes ... or rather ironic. The truck that knocked him down contained a stock of rainbow posters, flyers, and flags. They had to serve for a demonstration for the rights of gays. This fucker was dead and covered by rainbow flags. If the truck hadn't killed him, that vision would surely have done it." Mandy said before laughing heartily.

 

Ian began to laugh while the doctor smiled.

 

It took him several minutes to calm his laughter.

Even though Ian had trouble admitting that death could make him happy, Terry's death made him happier.

 

He nibbled his lower lip before looking up at Mandy and asking.

 

"And Mickey ...?"

 

The young woman took a deep breath before answering as if dreading this moment.

 

"He was thrown against a wall and hit his head."

 

Without realizing it, Ian stopped breathing.

Mandy's confession broke his heart.

 

"He was taken to the hospital. They operated on him and repaired everything that needed to be repaired, " She said firmly.

 

"He woke up a few hours later," she explained, putting her hand on Ian's cheek.

 

"So he's fine?" He questioned, still torn by fear.

 

The fact that Mandy was silent again worried him.

 

"Tell me he's fine!" He ordered his friend.

 

"Mandy!" He growled in front of her silence.

 

"He's fine ... Physically he's fine ..." she said calmly.

 

"Physically?!?" He asked.

 

"Please tell me what's going on!" He begged when she was silent again.

 

Mandy inhaled deeply before explaining.

 

"He couldn't remember ... When he woke up he couldn't remember being in prison ... And it wasn't the only thing he couldn't remember ..."

 

"What did he forget?!?" Ian asked in terror.

 

"He can't remember the last years ... his memory stops in high school," she finally confessed.

 

Ian stared at Mandy terrified. If Mickey had forgotten everything since high school, that meant ... it meant he had forgotten him too.

 

Conscious of the trouble in his friend, Mandy pressed her hands against Ian's cheeks before adding tenderly.

 

"The doctors said he would remember. They can't say when, but no part of his brain has been damaged, he will inevitably end up remembering ... "She explained.

 

"Did you talk to him?" He asked.

 

"Yes, we could see him a few hours ago. I wanted to tell you, but I had no way ... I didn't have your new phone number, and I didn't know where- "

 

"And Yevgeny? He doesn't remember his son either ...? "Ian cut her off.

 

"No," said Mandy sadly.

 

"He doesn't remember Yev or Svetlana or ... or you," she finally said.

 

* * *

 

Mandy's confession about Mickey's condition had completely messed up Ian.

His doctor had recommended keeping him under medical supervision for a few days.

And Mandy had managed to make the young man agree.

 

He was unfortunately not going to be at  Mickey's bedside. It would certainly do more harm than good.

  
  


Ian was sitting on the floor in the Milkovich's living room surrounded by a multitude of toys. Judging his condition sufficiently stable, his doctor had agreed to let him go. Provided he follows his treatment to the letter, and he came to see her at least once a week.

 

Yevgeny was lying on his back and twitching one of his stuffed toys holding it by the ears.

 

The chirps of the little boy filled the whole house.

  


The doctors had reaffirmed their verdict on Mickey's condition, saying his memories would be slowly re-surfacing.

 

Because of his medical condition, or rather thanks to his medical condition, the prison administration ordered his prison sentence to be suspended, provided that the case didn't break down.

 

So two weeks after the attack, Mickey was finally back home.

 

Iggy and Colin had gone to pick him up from the hospital and had taken him right home.

 

Mickey's eyes widened as he entered the living room. Everything had changed since the last time he had set foot, or rather the last time he remembered.

 

The empty cans, the weapons of all kinds and the bazaar shit previously strewn about had given way to trinkets, books and children's games.

 

Mandy knew that the new decoration of the house would not be to her brother's liking, but she was eager to remove any traces of Terry as soon as his death was confirmed. Living in the mess would have reminded her of bad memories too easily. Besides, she wanted Ian and Yevgeny to feel good and be happy in this house.

 

More than the change of decoration, what disturbed Mickey the most, was the young man sitting on the floor next to this baby.

This guy stared at him as if he had seen a ghost.

Feeling his gaze on him made Mickey uncomfortable.

 

He turned to his sister before asking nonchalantly.

 

" Who's that?"

 


	3. How long have you been with this guy? This Ian...

Mandy seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering as if she was afraid to say something stupid talking too fast.

 

She glanced quickly at the young man before calmly asserting.

 

"Ian, my boyfriend."

 

"Ian?" Mickey asked as if the name bothered him.

 

"Ian Gallagher ..." she said in front of her brother's confused look.

 

Mickey felt that this statement was more of a question as if his sister was expecting him to remember something about this guy.

 

"Like Frank?" He asked, staring at the stranger.

 

"Yes ... My father ..." Ian said in a barely audible voice.

 

"Sorry for you." said Mickey, sitting on the couch.

 

"And this kid ?!" quizzed Mickey nonchalantly.

 

"It's Yevgeny ... my son," Ian said, taking the child in his arms.

 

"Your son?" Mickey sounded.

 

"Our!" Corrected Mandy quickly.

 

"Our son. Me and Ian." She said again, weighing her words.

 

Mickey was silent watching Ian and Mandy in turn.

 

"He doesn't look like you at all," he said, staring at Ian.

 

"I-" Ian started before he was cut off by Mickey visibly determined to change the subject.

 

"There's no beer in this house! I'm dying of thirst. "

 

"The doctors said no alcohol for two months-" Mandy cut him off.

 

"I don't give a shit about what they said, I want a beer," he announced as he got up to the kitchen.

 

He wiggled inside observing the contents of the fridge.

As with the decor of the house, it had been transformed and now contained trays of meat, vegetables, baby products, but no beer.

 

"What is this non-alcoholic fridge?!? And what's this decor?!?" He growled pointing fingers at the new decorations set up by Mandy.

 

"I was tired of seeing Terry's bullshit all over the place, and I didn't want Yevgeny to get hurt, so I tossed it all out. And the doctor said no alcohol, so don't expect to find a single bottle in this house! " She explained.

 

"Fuck off Mandy! If that's how it’s gonna be, I'm going to find it somewhere else! "He growled as he walked towards the front door to leave.

 

Mandy tried to stop him, but Mickey was determined to leave.

He met Ian's gaze, still sitting on the ground with this kid on his lap.

His expression made  his stomach turn. Ian was like a stranger to him, but he had a furious desire to stay and get rid of  the grimace of his face.

This idea was too dangerous, this guy was dangerous, staying was too dangerous, but he picked the lesser of two evils and left.

 

* * *

 

 

Mickey had just opened the door of The Alibi.

In view of the surprised looks on him, few people had to be aware of his release from prison.

"Milkovich ... It's been a long time," Kev said behind the bar.

Mickey had never really spoken to this guy except to ask him where one of his regulars or where his father was.

"A beer," he grumbled as he sat down at the bar.

"Okay..." Kev said visibly disoriented.

"I didn't think you'd come out so soon ..." he added.

"What’s the fuck with you?!?" Mickey growled again, grabbing his beer and bringing it to his lips.

"Christ, Mickey! I was just trying  to be nice. I thought you'd be glad to be out of jail to finally find- "

" Mickey!"

Mickey turned his head to Mandy who had just made a rushed entrance into the bar and was quickly approaching them.

"The doctors said no alcohol!" She said again.

"Fuck the doctors!" Mickey growled before focusing on his beer again.

"No, fuck you, Mickey! It was me who had to deal with your bullshit once you landed your ass in jail. It was me who had to take care of the whole family. It was me who had to deal with Terry. And now it's me who is responsible for  making sure you don’t drink, as the doctors say. And if you still insist on drinking I’ll assume that you couldn't care less about me and I'll let you drink into an oblivion and you can die alone in a ditch. "

Mickey stared at her sister for a few moments before putting his drink on the counter and sighing.

" A month. No more ... No alcohol for a month, "he said resignedly.

"The doctors said-" she began before being cut by her brother.

" No more! Take it or leave it ... "he explained, staring into her eyes.

  
  
  
  


"Ok," she announced, handing him a hand that he grabbed to seal their promise.

"Sorry to interrupt you ... But could someone explain to me what's going on?" Kev asked, obviously confused by the scene unfolding before his eyes.

"Kev! I didn't see you! "Said Mandy, surprised by the bartender's presence.

"The fuck is going on..." Announced Kev.

"I ... I don't have time to explain you right now, I promise to explain everything to you a little later," she said, grabbing Mickey's arm and taking him with her to the exit.

"Mandy! Hold on! Mandy! "

Very quickly Kev's voice was stifled by the bar door, which closed in their wake.

"Why is he acting like we knew each other?" Mickey asked.

Realizing that Mandy didn't seem determined to explain the situation, he stopped short and forced her to let go.

"Mandy!"

"You know each other ... Well, I mean you knew each other before you forgot. You even had a business together, "she explained evasively.

"A business?" He questioned.

"A brothel, above the bar. He was running the place, you the whores ... "she explained, pointing to the apartment above the bar.

"What now?" He asked visibly interested in this new information.

" What, what now?"

"The brothel, it's still here?" "

"No, it's closed since ... too much trouble with the cops," she said as if to end the discussion.

"Can we go now?" She asked visibly pissed off by staying motionless on the sidewalk.

"What's so urgent?" Mickey asked, disturbed by his sister's behavior.

"Ia -Iggy is worried about your health, he doesn't like you being outside out of the house after just being released from the hospital. The doctors said you could have a seizure and pass out." she explained, avoiding Mickey's gaze.

"Since when did Iggy start worrying about my health?!?"

"Stop bitching and follow me," she growled.

Mandy started to walk but stopped after a few steps when she noticed that Mickey had 't moved.

After a long look from his sister, he finally decided to follow her.

"How long have you been with this guy? This Ian... "He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"We've known each other for years," she announced.

"And you've been together all this time?" He asked without waiting.

"We went out together when we were younger. And then he met someone ... They were very in love. "

"And he let you down?!?" Mickey growled at his sister's confession.

"I was happy for them. Really happy ... And then things got complicated and there was Yev- "

" Wait! This guy was with someone else when this kid was born?!? "Mickey questioned angrily.

"Don't judge him so fast Mickey-"

"Mandy fuck! How can you accept- "

"Yev is Ian's son! I know that Yev is the most important person to Ian ... And I forbid you to judge him like that without knowing him! Ian is a very good man! And that's something you thought too before forgetting ... "

It was the first time Mickey had seen his sister defend someone outside their family, at least the first time he remembered.

"Mandy-"

"You’re coming home with me. You’re resting. You will stop drinking for at least a month. And you'll make sure you get along with Ian, "she ordered angrily.

"I'll follow you ... For alcohol and rest, I'll see what I can do. But as far as this guy is concerned, all I can promise you right now is not to hit him as soon as I see him ... At least try, "he finally promised.

Mandy seemed pleased with his promise and went on the road, quickly followed by Mickey.


	4. Pale skin, freckles and red hair, alien looking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey couldn't decide what was most difficult for him.  
> The fact of seeing Ian fleeing so openly, or the look he had on him when they found themselves inadvertently in the same room.
> 
> Mickey had several times caught him from afar when he thought he couldn't be noticed. And each time he felt his heart racing in his chest.

Not to hit Ian turned out to be easier than expected.

Especially since the young man seemed to avoid him to the maximum.

 

Mickey couldn't decide what was most difficult for him.

The fact of seeing him fleeing so openly, or the look he had on him when they found themselves inadvertently in the same room.

 

Mickey had several times caught him from afar when he thought he couldn't be noticed. And each time he felt his heart racing in his chest.

 

Mickey was struggling to support the overly protective side of his sister.

She had ordered him to go out only accompanied by one of them to avoid a crisis alone in the middle of nowhere.

And even though he wasn't the type to obey, Mickey knew that if he disobeyed his sister, it would not take her long to throw him out.

He had ended up resigning himself to the idea of being always accompanied wherever he went.

 

He soon realized that the family's business had also changed a lot. None of his brothers seemed to participate in any criminal activity. Each of them now had a job, or at least was looking for that job.

 

Terry meanwhile was absent. Mickey hadn't tried to find out where he was, but there was every indication that he was still locked up for one of the many crimes he perpetrated regularly. He had never seen his brothers and sister so happy, and it wasn't difficult to understand that these changes in their lives had something to do with him.

 

Mickey had wanted to go out at the end of the first week, he still expected to keep the promise he had made to Mandy, as long as he needed to clear his head, to think of something else. Staying all the time with his family in this house to hear them talk about something he had no memory of was starting to be difficult to handle.

 

Mandy had wanted someone to accompany him, but Mickey had managed to negotiate to go alone and texting her as soon as he arrived at the bar and when he left.

 

Mickey was angry all the way, and even more so when he finally stepped into the Alibi Room.

It wasn't difficult to understand that his sister had called this bartender, Kev, to warn him of his arrival.

 

He preferred to ignore this discovery and still send a message to Mandy to prevent her from arriving.

Even when he was a kid he never needed to do that kind of bullshit.

 

"What's your poison?" Kev asked, cleaning the bar in front of Mickey with a rag.

 

"A beer- A soda." Mickey finally said as he remembered his promise.

 

"It's strange to see you drink something other than alcohol," Kev said as he placed the soda glass in front of him.

 

"It seems we know each other."

 

"Yeah ... Mandy told me about your memory problem. It sucks. Sorry that happened to you buddy, "Kev announced calmly.

 

"Buddy?!?" Mickey repeated, raising his eyebrows.

 

"We were friends?" He asked, still astonished by this idea.

 

"From my understanding... We had friends in common, and we started a business together."

 

"A brothel, right?"

 

"Yeah. You really don't remember anything? "Kev asked intrigued.

 

"The Fuck!?! You think I'm some kind of liar? "

 

" No! Calm down! I am just trying to understand. I can't understand how you can remember things like doing your shoelaces, but not the people you met less than a month ago. I'm not good with this medical stuff, it's above my head ... Mandy told me that it was inadvisable to try to force you to remember certain memories and that even talking about it could be dangerous, so I'm trying to find out what I can talk about without endangering your health. "

 

" Fuck! I'm not a kid! I don't need anyone to take care of me like that! "Growled Mickey furiously.

 

Kev lowered his head and walked away for a moment to serve a beer with two boozers leaning on the bar.

 

Their eyes were fixed on him, and it wasn't difficult to understand that he was the subject of discussion.

 

Mickey remembered them. Tommy and the other ... The other one had a frog name ... Kermit! Tommy and Kermit.

 

He saw them often enough when he came to meet his father in this bar. 

 

"Tell me at least I was not friends with these guys," Mickey asked when Kev came back to his level.

 

"Tommy and Kermit? No. "Kev said, sketching a small smile.

 

"Thank fuck!"

 

"They are just a little surprised to see you."

 

"That's not their business!" Mickey growled.

 

"People like to talk, that's all Mickey."

 

"Can’t they talk about other things!"

 

"It's true that you never liked being the center of attention..." Kev said mechanically.

 

"Why would you say that?" Mickey growled.

 

"No reason."

 

Kev tried to look away, but Mickey's eyes were still fixed on him.

 

"What?!?"

 

"It's hard to imagine that we could have been friends, even if only a little bit ..." Mickey explained, leaning against the back of his chair.

 

"So...?" Kev stated.

 

"Do you have proof?!?"

 

"Proof?" Kev asked, frowning.

 

"Yeah. Something that would prove that we really were friends. "

 

"I don't have a picture of us both if that's what you're asking for ..." Kev announced after a short silence.

 

"So no proof?" Mickey resumed.

 

"I know what your type of m-women is. At least if it's not something that changes after high school ... Sometimes we meet someone and this person totally changes the vision we had of others and we end up making this person our ideal. That's what happened to me with Vee. Now I wouldn't imagine- "

 

"What is it then?" Mickey cut him off.

 

"My type of woman?" Mickey said in front of Kev's fool.

 

"Pale skin, freckles and red hair, alien looking," Kev said, looking for approval on Mickey's face.

 

Mickey grabbed his glass and drank the rest of his drink in one go before putting money on the bar and heading for the exit.

 

"I’ll let you tell Mandy I'm coming back. I'm sure you were going to do it anyway, "he said as he left the bar.

 

Mickey didn't know what to think about Kev.

 

All of this was correct, except for a little detail. And he was unlikely to have guessed that on his own. Which meant that they must have been friends at one time or another.

 

In itself it was nothing horrible, being friends with someone wasn't a bad thing. But what terrorized Mickey was to imagine that someone could know about his secret without him knowing it.

 

Did he tell the truth to Kev? Were they close enough friends for that?

 

Mickey stopped when came through the front  door of the family home.

 

Ian was sitting on the couch busy reading a story to this kid whose name he still couldn't pronounce.

 

He had no idea what had driven his sister and this guy to give their kid a name like that.

 

And he had no intention of asking about it. He didn't want to have anything to do with Ian.

 

Without waiting any longer, he walked the short distance to his bedroom door and quickly shut himself inside.

 

Contrary to what he had said to everyone, Mickey kind of remembered Ian.

He remembered meeting him while working at Kash N Grab. He had never really spoken to him, except to insult him, but he remembered him.

 

He had recognized him quickly, and the idea that he could be his sister's boyfriend and her child's father made him feel like throwing up.

 

He had spent his life lying to everyone about who he was. And to keep only for himself his preferences. And today, the man he was most attracted to was right  in the next room, with his sister and their son.

 

He had to find a way to fix that.

He had to find a way to change things.

 

He couldn't ask Ian to leave.

And Mandy would refuse to let him go live alone, especially since he didn't have the money for it.

 

But he had to find a way to leave.


	5. Mickey met Melania

Mickey had managed to slip away from the house without Mandy realizing it. Fortunately for him, his sister now seemed to have chosen to go to bed as early as her son.

 

He had decided a little earlier in the evening that he needed to go live elsewhere and realized that the easiest way to get there quickly was to find someone willing to let him crash for free.

 

He knew that none of his friends could do that. Mainly because most of them were also friends with Mandy, and they wouldn't hesitate to report all his actions, but also because with this loss of memory, trying to meet them again would probably be complicated or even dangerous.

 

Mickey had also thought of contacting Angie Zago who he had previously fucked, to see if she could help him, but he knew she wasn't the type to stay inactive with a man in her house.

The idea of sleeping with a woman didn't please him at all, and the fact that it could be Angie made him even more inclined to vomit.

  
  


Mickey opened the bar door where he had stopped.

 

He had decided to avoid The Alibi so as not to undermine his efforts to be discreet and had preferred to walk a little longer to reach a bar where no one would recognize him.

 

He quickly took a look at the people in the room to see if he recognized anyone, and was soon relieved to see that he didn’t. He hoped, of course, that the opposite would also be true and that no one would recognize him.

 

He sat down at the bar and automatically ordered a beer before stopping to bring the glass to his mouth.

 

He sighed slowly as he rested the glass untouched. He had promised his sister not to drink for a month, and even if she wasn't there to check, the idea of lying to her didn't please him.

 

"Former alcoholic?" Asked a voice next to him.

 

Mickey turned to face a young woman.

 

She was blonde, a little smaller than him, and made up like college girls on Halloween.

 

He raised an eyebrow when she pointed to the glass still in his hand.

 

"If you want I can help you with that ..."

 

"With my beer?" He asked.

 

" Yes. My ex was a former alcoholic, finally, an alcoholic who had decided to stop and then changed his mind to start drinking again. However, while we were together and he decided not to drink anymore, I was pretty good at helping him. In the end ,he left with another girl, a bitch with the same IQ as a potted plant. I say that because plants don't have brains ... "she explained with a nasal voice and gestures with her hands.

 

Mickey let her keep talking for a few moments, realizing two things.

The first was that in less than a minute he had understood why the woman's ex had started drinking, and why he had left with someone else.

 

The second was that if he played it smart enough, he might be able to use her to leave the family home.

 

He pushed the glass to put it in front of her and called the bartender to ask for a glass of soda.

 

"You made the good choice," she said with a smile.

 

"How long have you stopped drinking?" She asked.

 

"No, not very long. And I think I could kill for a beer, "he said.

 

" I understand. But you know, it's important to resist temptation, "she explained.

 

" Easier said than done…"

 

"Why?" She asked intrigued.

 

"I live at my sister's house and even if she is the perfect woman in front of others, and the perfect mother is a great alcoholic and she hides bottles all over the house," he says.

 

Since the young woman seemed to believe everything he told him, Mickey continued.

 

"I have just returned from my trip, so I don't have an apartment yet, so I sleep at her house, but I'm afraid of falling on a bottle by opening a cupboard and drinking it."

 

"But it's horrible! People are awful to live like this! Your sister should realize that what she is doing is wrong, and she should stop drinking and supporting you. I had a friend like that. All she did was lie, all the time on everything. She pretended to be perfect, but behind peoples back, she was a real bitch. 

 

Each time she blamed someone else. Many times she claimed it was because of me if she couldn't live with her boyfriend, when in fact she was the one who didn't want to. I know it because we lived together, and I told her that I agreed that her boyfriend moving in. He was a nice guy and then I also like having a man at home, it's better still for security and all that, because men when he sees me they think stuff, so it's a good thing to have a man to protect me... "

 

Decidedly this girl was talking too much, thought Mickey, pretending to continue listening to him. However, in all this useless speech he had retained the information that she had an apartment in it, and potentially enough room to host him.

 

Of course, he couldn't ask her to shut up and house him at home. He decided to continue talking with her a little longer to try to turn the discussion to his advantage.

 

He hesitated several times over the next hour, wondering if it was any less difficult to be next by the devilishly sexy red-haired brother-in-law of his brother-in-law than to have to endure more time with this woman who already annoyed the fuck out of him.

But his body's response to Ian's thought reminded him how much better it was for him to stay away from him as much as possible.

 

It had been impossible for him to be directly invited to her home before they separated at the bar door. For all that, Melania had insisted they meet again soon.

 

Against all odds, Mickey had managed to seem happy at this idea. He had offered to spend the next day at his sisters.

He knew that no one would be home, and he had the idea of hiding here and there a few bottles of alcohol to convince the young woman of his story.

 

He managed to reach his room, without waking any of the inhabitants of the house and replayed his meeting with Melania.

Never before would he have tried to manipulate someone like that. He had always been the type to solve problems with his fists.

But he knew it, his current problem couldn't be solved by violence.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been three days since Mickey met Melania.

The young woman had turned out to be as stupid as egocentric and superficial, and even though Mickey wanted to murder her each time she opened her mouth, he soon realized that his plan wouldn't work without her.

He knew it, she was on the brink of offering to come live with her. She had been perfectly intrigued by the story he had made up for her.

He had once again invited the young woman to come to his home that afternoon and had planned to up the game by plating a few bottles of alcohol in the cabinets.

He started pulling the bag with bottles from under the bed when he heard Yevgeny scream in the living room.

Mickey had made sure to invite Melania home one day when nobody was supposed to be present to avoid a useless meeting that would have probably ruined his whole lie.

Unfortunately, if Yevgeny was still there, it meant Mandy, Iggy, or Ian was too.

He quietly left the room after putting the bag under the bed and found himself face to face with his brother-in-law.

Ian held Yevgeny, crying, in his arms and seemed to be trying to rock him.

" Mickey! Sorry to wake you up, "Ian apologized, lowering his eyes.

Mickey felt his heart tighten. Every time they were together, Ian looked away. The only moments he allowed himself to look at him were when he thought he was discreet enough that no one would notice him.

"What's wrong with him?!? And you, aren't you supposed to be at work? "

"Yes ... but he's sick. I went to see a friend, she is a nurse. She said there was no point in going to see the doctor and it would be okay before the end of the day, but I can't leave him at the nanny's house because she is afraid he will spread to the other children."

Ian had spoken at full speed, and his worry echoed in his voice.

"If she said it would be over before the end of the day is that it doesn't matter then." He said as he sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

He pretended to be interested in the program broadcast while casting discrete glances at Ian.

He clenched his fists and tried to focus on television.

From what Mandy had told him, Ian had left for another woman, and hadn't been there when the boy was born.

Just for that, Mickey hated him. Or at least should have hated him.

However, he couldn't do it. Even after all that, he couldn't hate Ian. The only person he hated was himself because he couldn't help but look at him, think of him, dream of him.


	6. It's just a pink duck

He knew it was his sister's boyfriend, his nephew's father, and it was impossible not to see all the love he had for his son by watching him hold him in his arms, but for all that Mickey could not get himself out of his head.

Each of the dreams that invaded his nights seemed more real than the previous one. Almost as if he had already put his hands on Ian’s naked body, placed his lips on his, took Ian in him, deep in him until he lost his mind.

 

Ian continued to walk and try to calm the kid by cradling him in his arms.

 

"I think he's too hot ... She told me I could try to make him take a bath," Ian said as he headed for the kitchen.

 

None of their bathrooms had tubs, thankfully Yevgeny was small enough that Ian could bathe him in the kitchen sink.

 

Mickey continued to try being as uninterested as possible.

 

Ian seemed to have a hard time dealing with Yev and preparing for his bath at the same time.

 

"Take care of him, I'll take care of the sink," Mickey said as he walked over to Ian.

 

"What?" Ian wondered.

 

"Should the water be hot or cold?" Mickey asked, ignoring Ian's surprise.

 

"Warm ... And you have to clean the sink before, it's Iggy who did the dishes last and he never cleans up afterward." Ian said, continuing to try to calm Yev.

 

Mickey giggled before making a comment.

 

"I’m surprised  that Iggy even knows how to do the dishes, so asking him to clean up ..."

 

"It took Mandy threatening to throw away all his porn collection for him to accept," Ian explained without taking his eyes off him.

 

"He doesn't know that he can find it everywhere on the internet ... At least that was the case before, I mean from what I remember." Mickey clarified.

 

He started to laugh. A laugh that made Mickey turn his head.

 

"Yes, he knows it, but the internet connection here sucks, the image buffers every 5 seconds ... Not easy in these cases to jerk off in peace." Ian explained as if it was a normal subject between them.

 

"Don't you mind talking fucking sex in front of your son?" He finally asked.

 

"Yev has already heard a lot worse with his mother," Ian explained.

 

"Do you mean Mandy is talking about sex too near him?" Mickey raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yes," he said embarrassed as if the discussion had suddenly become too personal.

 

"I think the bath is ready," said Mickey as he walked to the living room.

 

"Wait, can you go get his duck? It’s in the room, "Ian asked as Yev approached the sink.

 

"His duck?" Mickey wondered.

 

"Yes, he won’t take a bath quietly without it," Ian explained.

 

"Ok," Mickey finally said, sighing.

 

"What does his duck look like?" He shouted from the bedroom.

 

"It is all pink! You won’t be able to miss it, "said Ian of the kitchen.

 

Mickey took another look at the room Ian shared with Mandy and Yev.

A pile of baby clothes was hanging on the chair near the kid's bed and a pillow and a quilt seemed to have fallen off the bed.

 

Mickey walked to the bed, continuing to search for the duck, and stopped when his eye spotted the pink toy on the mattress.

 

"Please don't tell me that's it!" Mickey growled as he entered the kitchen.

 

He had grabbed one of the towels laid with Yev's stuff to catch the pink duck and take him to the kitchen.

 

"Yes, thank you," Ian said, grabbing the duck and giving it to Yev.

 

"It's a fucking sex toy! Why he plays with a fucking sex toy! "Mickey growled, pointing at the duck.

 

"He found it when he was younger and since we can't replace it with another toy."

 

"Please tell me that my sister has never used it."

 

"Your sister never used it," said Ian, deliberately omitting to say that this duck belonged to someone other than Mandy before serving as Yev's toy and that this person had already used it more than once.

 

Ian's tone was perfectly assured, but Mickey had a hard time getting his nephew playing with a huge vibro duck in his bath.

 

"Don't worry, we removed the batteries," Ian clarified.

 

"Thank God!" Said Mickey.

 

"You know, for him, it's just a pink duck."

 

"You are really fucking strange! Everything here is just so strange. "Announced Mickey.

 

"Strange?"

 

" Yes. In this house, Iggy does the dishes, no more Milkoviches are on the run, no guns on the coffee table, Mandy is the mother of a little boy whose name I still can't pronounce and who plays with a sex toy in the sink from the kitchen! It's weird! "

 

"It's true it's ... different from before," Ian said without looking away.

 

The bath and the toy seemed to have calmed Yevgeny. who was now having fun pushing his duck into the water and let it go up, splashing everything in its path.

 

"He looks better," said Mickey.

 

"Yeah, he looks good," said Ian relieved.

 

"Earlier it seemed like you were on the verge of a panic attack. I think that, as a parent, you are probably going to  experience issues far worse than a cold you know. I say that, but if you take your role as seriously as my father, nothing will reach you. "

 

"Terry was the worst of the bastards."

 

"Was? You’re talking about him like he's dead? "Mickey pointed out.

 

"He's in prison, it's kind of like that," Ian said after a slight silence.

 

"Do you want a coffee?" Timidly asked Ian, daring to look up at Mickey.

 

Mickey caught himself accepting as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

Ian served them two steaming cups and sat in front of him while keeping an eye on Yev.

 

"He doesn't look like either of you."

 

"What?"

 

" The kid! He doesn't look like you. Maybe a little Mandy, but not necessarily you. If Mandy wasn't the mother, I'd advise you to do a paternity test, "Mickey said, realizing it might be the best thing to do.

 

If Ian wasn't the boy's father, he would have no reason to be there anymore, and he no longer had to leave.

 

"I am his father. Even if they came to see me with all the tests of the world saying otherwise I would not care. I'm his father ... I wasn't always there for him ... I had problems ... But now I can't imagine my life without him. "Solemnly affirmed Ian.

 

"I never thought a Milkovich child would be loved by his parents," Mickey explained, bringing his cup to his lips.

 

"My parents weren't made to have children either. My father is a notorious alcoholic. Or at least the one everyone knows as my father. "

 

"What?" Asked Mickey stunned.

 

He listened to Ian tell him the love story that Monica, his mother, had with Clayton, Frank's brother.

 

Mickey was seized by an impression of déjà vu as if he had already heard this story.

 

"The only thing that was good with my parents was that they weren’t homophobic like Terry," he said as happily as he could.

 

Mickey arched an eyebrow at him.

 

"Why the fuck did you say that?"

 

"Eh?!? Nothing- It's just- I just thought they had at least that quality- Even if you're right, it did not help me much. "


	7. Melania, Mickey's girlfriend

Mickey didn't know how to react to Ian's comments.

There was absolutely no reason for him to talk about this when none of them were gay.

At least none of them had come out.

And even if he had lost his memory, Mickey was convinced, with Terry in the vicinity, there was no possibility for him to tell anyone his secret. Especially not his sister's boyfriend.

 

He was cut off in his thoughts by a knock on the door and by a shrill voice.

 

" Mickey! It's me!"

 

"Waiting for a visitor?" Ian asked, obviously surprised.

 

"I- Yeah. I- I'll be back- "Mickey mumbled before heading for the door.

 

"Melania, sorry, we'll have to cancel," Mickey said quietly as soon as he opened the door.

 

"What?!? Why? "Asked the young woman with a surprised look.

 

"My brother-in-law stayed at home with his son, he was sick-"

 

" Poor baby! I brought some soup for us, I'm sure there's enough for four of us, and that will give him strength." She said as she made her way between Mickey and the door.

 

Mickey winced for a moment before pulling himself together and trying to reason with the young woman.

 

"It's a bad idea ... I didn't tell them about us-"

 

" Why? Are you ashamed? "She asked, her eyes widening.

 

" No that's not it…"

 

Mickey pinched his lips, looking for a bright idea that could get him out of this misstep.

 

"Ian doesn't know about Mandy's problem, at least he's pretending not to see it. He has personal problems to manage and I didn't want to talk to him about us so as not to push him further. "

 

"How to push him further?!?" The young woman wondered.

 

"He's trying to hide the fact that he lives with an alcoholic woman ... and I'm sure he has a lot of other problems. While I found someone as good as you- "

 

"Oh! That’s so sweet," she cut him off before putting a quick kiss on his lips.

 

Mickey felt a ball form in his throat. His body reacted in this way each time Melania approached too close to him.

He had managed to postpone the time to sleep with her later by pretending he wanted to do things right, and not to repeat his mistakes of the past.

 

His lie seemed to convince the young woman.

To tell the truth, Mickey was more and more subjugated by the credulity she displayed.

 

" You know what? I have a solution. I'm going to stay, and all four of us are going to eat. But I won’t tell him that I know about your sister, okay?, "she said, heading back to the kitchen.

 

" Hello. You must be Ian, "Melania said, reaching out to the young man.

 

Ian had taken Yev out of the bath and looked at the couple, their eyes full of incomprehension.

 

" Yes. And you are- "Ian began timidly.

 

"Melania! Mickey's girlfriend. "

 

"Mickey's what ?!" Ian questioned visibly disturbed by the newcomer.

 

"Girlfriend," she said again, putting the soup on the table.

 

Melania didn't seem to have noticed at all the state in which her statement had impacted Ian.

 

Mickey suddenly wanted to run to Ian to take him in his arms and tell him that everything would be fine.

He saw the young man's chest rise and fall to the frantic rhythm of his breathing.

 

"You have bowls? I brought some soup for me and Mickey, but I'm sure we can share it, "she said as she finished unpacking.

 

She straightened up and reached for Yev's cheek to stroke him.

Mickey felt Ian freeze.

 

"On your right," he said, cutting the young woman in his tracks.

 

"What?" She asked, looking at Mickey.

 

"Bowls, they are on your right," he explained.

 

Melania revealed herself to the cupboard indicated by Mickey and took out four bowls.

 

She placed the soup in the microwave to warm it and continued to set the table as if she were at home, under the dumbfounded look of Ian.

 

"You better put Yev in his high chair," Mickey announced, hoping to pull Ian out of his stupor.

 

Ian mumbled a few words before finally settling the boy in his high chair after summarily dressing him up and sitting next to him.

 

Melania filled the bowls of soup and laid them in front of them.

She paused for a moment as she noticed the toy Yev held in his hands, and set the bowl on the table in front of him rather than on his tray.

 

"I'm happy to be able to eat with you today, like a real little family," said the young woman.

 

Ian preferred to focus on his soup rather than listen for a second more. Who brings soup to a date?!?

 

The idea that Mickey could be with this woman made him want to throw up.

 

He knew he couldn't tell Mickey everything without risk, but to imagine him with her was real torture.

 

He put a spoonful in his mouth before spitting it out immediately and grabbing Mickey who was getting ready to start eating.

With a big gesture, he snatched the bowl of soup from him, burning his fingers at the same time.

 

"Ian! Fuck! What the fuck are you doing?!? "Mickey growled.

 

Ian pressed his hand against his burned fingers, hoping to ease the wound.

 

"It's a shrimp soup."

 

"So what?" Melania growled.

 

"Mickey is allergic! If he eats it he’ll have to go to the hospital! "

 

Ian felt Mickey's eyes on him. He preferred to lower his eyes rather than look at him.

Since he had returned to this house, it was difficult for him to face him. He was dying to take him in his arms, to kiss him, to tell him everything ... But he knew he couldn’t do anything about it

 

He suddenly felt Mickey's grip on his sleeve and pulled him to the sink.

 

Mickey opened the tap and ran his hand under the water to calm the burn.

 

"Next time, say it rather than burning you." Growled Mickey.

 

Ian felt his heart racing as Mickey put his fingers under his and began to caress his skin under the stream of water.

 

"Sorry, I didn't know," Melania said before bending Yev a spoonful of soup in her hand and adding.

 

"There’s just more for us my little-"

 

"No!" Ian growled.

 

Melania had brought a spoon from Yev's mouth.

 

"What?!?" She growled, tapping her feet.

 

"He's allergic too!" Announced Ian.

 

"Is everyone allergic here?!" She growled, letting the spoon fall into her bowl.

 

"Are you okay?" Mickey asked softly.

 

Ian turned to Mickey before looking at his fingers and affirming.

 

"It's okay, it's not bad."

 

Mickey stayed a few seconds motionless.

He didn’t want to move and wanted to stand there holding Ian's hand under the water and caressing his skin.

 

But mostly he wanted to understand how this kid could be allergic while Mandy didn’t have this allergy at all and that Ian didn’t seem at all disturbed by the soup he had just eaten.

 

Of course, he knew that it wasn’t necessarily necessary for one of the parents to be allergic so that the child would be too, but this point was still added to the long list of things that didn’t fit in this story.


	8. You're a bully

Melania had finally left.

Mickey had tried to calm the girl's nerves a little, but she seemed to have a hard time accepting the attention he had given to Ian.

 

Mickey had then offered to meet in a bar the same evening to be forgiven.

 

Even if all this agitation was undermining his plan, he was happy to see her go.

 

He froze for a moment, however, seeing Ian on the couch with Yevgeny sitting on his lap.

 

He tried to ignore their presence and returned to lock himself in his room. He left the room only a good hour later.

 

He had to go to the kitchen to get something to eat if he didn't want to starve.

 

He noticed in the living room that Ian was still sitting on the couch with Yevgeny on his lap, but he seemed to have fallen asleep because his head was slumped against the back.

 

The little boy was playing cheerfully with the storybook that Ian had started to read to him.

 

A multitude of cushions strewed the ground at the level of the sofa. Ian had probably positioned them there to make sure Yevgeny couldn't hurt himself by falling off his lap during a moment of inattention.

 

Mickey told himself that Ian mustn’t have imagined that he could fall asleep and that no one had ever been so cautious with him as a child.

 

Yevgeny finally seemed to notice his presence and began to wave his arms sharply towards him. This movement of position unbalanced him and made him fall head first to the ground.

 

Without knowing how Mickey managed to catch him just before he crashed against the cushions.

 

Contrary to what he feared, the little boy laughed and not cried, as if his fall hadn’t had the slightest effect on him.

 

He grabbed Mickey's sleeves tightly and gave him a big smile.

 

"No need to look at me like that, I'll leave you here" Mickey mumbled as he walked to the couch to put Yev.

 

Automatically the boy began to cry and shout.

 

Mickey picked him up a few seconds and the cry stopped automatically.

 

He tried to put him on the sofa several times next to Ian, but Yev cried each time so that a quarter of an hour later he was still with Yev in his arms.

 

He hesitated to wake up Ian but he seemed to be really tired, and to deprive him of this nap wouldn’t really be nice.

 

Mickey wasn't a nice guy in general, but he couldn’t bring himself to wake up Ian. Especially since this little-improvised nap allowed him to admire the young man at leisure.

 

Mickey ended up giving up the idea of getting rid of Yev and sitting on the floor right next to Ian.

Without letting go of his grip on Mickey's sleeve, Yev tried to grab the book that was next to his father.

 

Mickey grabbed him and gave it to the little boy, who immediately stuck it to Mickey's chest and stared at him.

 

"What!?! What do you want?"

 

Yev showed a big smile as if he understood Mickey's inability to deny him anything in the current situation.

 

"I'm not going to read you this thing," Mickey said again, grabbing the book and putting it a little further.

 

Yev showed a sulky expression, frowning and twisting his mouth.

 

Mickey automatically grabbed the book and opened it, which made him smile directly at the boy.

 

"You're a bully," Mickey said before starting to read.

 

* * *

 

Mandy returned from work a little later than usual. She knew Ian had stayed home with Yev because the kid was sick. Normally she would have tried to come in earlier to help him, but she secretly hoped that Mickey had stayed home to help Ian.

She had crossed Iggy on the road to the house and had finished the path with him.

It was always odd for them to see how quickly they had adapted to normal life, far from any criminal activity, that they were now living.

A big smirk appeared on Mandy's face when she entered the living room and she saw Ian asleep on the couch, and Mickey sat on the floor, obviously in the same state, his head pressed against Ian's legs.

Yev was snuggled against Mickey's chest, one inch in his mouth and the other hand hanging on Mickey's sweatshirt.

Mandy turned to Iggy and put a hand on his mouth before he could say anything, and so at the same time wake up the couple and the boy.

Mandy motioned him to shut up before taking out her phone to capture the scene from every angle.

 

* * *

 

Mickey and Ian were awakened by the sound of two pans banging against each other, and Mandy gasping at Iggy and screeching at him, although her remark made even more noise.

She turned quickly to them, noticed that they were now fully awake and aware of the tendentious position in which they had finally fallen asleep.

Yev had left Mickey's lap a little earlier to join Mandy and Iggy in the kitchen and enjoy his meal.

Seeing the little boy asleep in his father's arms, with Ian right next to them had melted the young woman's heart.

Unfortunately, to believe Mickey's grin, it must have been an involuntary coincidence on his part.

Mandy chose not to act as if nothing had happened.

"You both looked tired so we let you sleep," she said nonchalantly as if she hadn't just found her brother and the so-called father of her child sleeping one against the other.

Mickey approached the fridge and took out the leftovers from the day before to warm them up before Iggy stopped him.

"No way you are going to eat that!"

"And why?!?" Mickey growled.

"Mandy made me cook so you'll eat what I prepared!" Iggy announced.

"I don't want to die from food poisoning." said Mickey.

Ian approached them, trying to chase away the remains of his nap before affirming.

"It's probably very surprising to believe, but in fact, Iggy is a great cook."

"Stop talking bullshit!" Mickey ordered incredulously at Ian's words.

"It's not bullshit!" Ian defended himself.

"You have to taste it. If after that you don't like it, you can say that it's bullshit, "Iggy said visibly sure of himself.

As crazy as it may seem, all in this room outside of Mickey, now knew how good of a cook Iggy was.

He had discovered that talent when Mandy had forced him a few times earlier to replace a friend at his kitchen committee in a small neighborhood restaurant.

Since then, he had only improved himself to the delight of the chef of the restaurant. Although the rules and household chores that went with his new position continued to annoy him.

Mickey finally agreed to sit down and eat the dish prepared by Iggy.

The surprise quickly appeared on his face, but he kept his mouth shut, even when the young cook asked him his opinion.

Iggy showed a big smile when Mickey handed him his plate to ask for another portion.

Mandy repeatedly surprised Ian to stealthily watch Mickey. From an outside look it might seem totally innocent, but knowing their past, it wasn't difficult to understand that Ian had been disturbed by waking up so close to Mickey.

She decided to break the almost religious silence that had settled between them by offering everyone to enjoy the evening to watch a movie together in the living room.

Mickey was the first to speak.

"Can't. Have to see Melania, "he said, mouth full of Iggy's dish.

Ian looked down at his plate and began grinding his food with the tip of his fork as if he were looking for something to occupy his mind after Mickey's words.

"Who's that Melania?" Mandy growled.

Mickey didn't seem to motivate to answer, and Mandy decided that a good kick in the tibia would surely help him to speak.

" Fuck! Mandy! "

"Who's Melania ?!" Mandy growled again, staring at Mickey's eyes.

"She's Mickey's girlfriend ..." Ian explained timidly, eyes not leaving his plate.


	9. There's a lot of things you don't know

Mandy thought her heart was going to tear in half. She loved Ian. And she knew that without him his brother couldn't be happy. She knew that without him, Mickey would always be hiding his homosexuality to all and continued to go out with women only to keep his secret.

And that was exactly what was happening.

For Mickey, Ian and all the love story they had lived had never existed.

He had never managed to assume who he was.

And to top it off, Ian seemed to be fully aware of the situation.

 

"Girlfriend!?! Where did you meet her? And when?"

 

"It's not your business," said Mickey.

 

" Yes! It is  my business! You better answer my questions. Who is this woman? "Mandy growled again.

 

Mickey seemed to seek help from Iggy who quickly made him understand that he was totally on the side of Mandy.

 

"She's a girl I met at the bar."

 

"Kev didn't tell me about it!" Mandy wondered.

 

Mickey chuckled before staring at his sister.

 

"I knew you were having  me watched."

 

"It's for your sake," she affirmed before being cut by Mickey.

 

"I'm not a kid!"

 

"No, but there's a lot of things you don't know-" she began to say before Ian stared at her to shut her up.

 

She looked away.

But his affirmation as well, as the embarrassed silence that followed, seemed to have awakened Mickey's interest.

 

"And what exactly don’t I know?" He growled.

 

"How could going out  with someone be bad for me?" He questioned again, widening his eyes.

  
  


"I want to meet her," said Mandy, starring Mickey in the eye.

 

She knew that it was impossible for her to stop all of this without giving Mickey details about the relationship he had with Ian. And she knew it wouldn’t be safe for her brother's health.

To meet her would surely be the surest way to understand the whole situation and to find a way to chase away this fucker.

 

" No way! I don't see the point of introducing her to you- "

 

" Why?!? Mandy questioned.

 

"Ian seems to know who she is ..." Iggy said nonchalantly.

 

Mandy turned to Iggy before focusing on Ian.

The young man looked up from his plate when he felt Mandy's gaze on him.

 

"She came today ..." he explained painfully.

 

Mandy had no trouble imagining the panic and pain that must have taken hold of her best friend.

 

" What do you mean!?! You invited her here?!? Did you want to take advantage of the fact that we weren't there to bring her? "

 

Mandy didn't try to hide the anger that this situation created in her.

And Mickey seemed to understand that she wouldn't let it go.

 

"Tell her to come to The Alibi. Tonight! "She growled before getting up and adding.

 

"If you don't do it, believe me, you will regret it. You may not remember these last years, but I remember it very well. And I wouldn’t hesitate to reveal everything I know if you don't do what I say. "

 

Mandy left the room after telling Iggy that he was keeping Yev tonight. And to believe the expression that Iggy displayed, there was no doubt that he would obey his sister to avoid making her angrier.

 

Mandy tried to regain her composure once the door of her room closed.

 

Ian joined her quickly.

 

"Do you really intend to reveal-"

 

"No," she said before Ian could finish his sentence.

 

"I have no intention of doing it. And then anyway it wouldn't help much since everyone is already aware ... I know Mickey forgot everything he has done in recent years, and I know for him that is like he's still forced to hide who he really is. And I hate to use that against him! The only person I want to say it is Mickey! But if he learns it, we don't know what his brain will do. I don't want to put him in danger, but I can't see him starting to live in fear as he did before ... I want him to understand that he can be himself. I want him to remember that he can be himself with us ... I want him to understand that we love him for who he really is and not for that facade he shows. " she tried to wipe the tears running down her cheeks.

 

Ian took her in his arms and squeezed her as tightly as he could against him before hearing her assert against his shoulder.

 

"Actually there is also a second person who I want to tell the truth to ... This bitch."

 

Ian giggled before clearing Mandy and asserting.

 

"You never met her. How can you know she's a bitch? "

 

"First, I know the rotten taste that my brother has. And secondly, all the people who try to go out with my brother except you are assholes and bitches. You are the only one who has the right to be with him because you are the only one who makes him happy. "

 

"I haven’t always -"

 

"Stop! I forbid you to think for  even a microsecond that you are not the right person for him. You are the only person he has ever loved. And I intend to make sure that he remembers it. "She affirmed with a convinced area.


	10. Call me if you can manage to get hard

Mickey didn't really know what his sister might have discovered during those years of which he had forgotten all memory off, but he didn't want to risk revealing the secret he hoped to have kept for him all those years.

 

As far back as he could remember he had always been there for her. He had never been the ideal big brother, but he had always tried to protect her.

But he had no idea what had happened during those years he had forgotten.

Mandy always seemed to care for him, otherwise, she wouldn’t have insisted that he stop it with the alcohol. But as far as he knew he hadn't been close enough that  she would be aware of his secret. No, it was impossible... Mickey knew it, there was no chance for him to have told anyone, especially with Terry around.

 

He hated the idea of having to introduce Melania to Mandy and even more the idea that Ian will be there  tonight, but that was the case. And even if it ruined all his hopes of leaving the family home at the same time, he couldn't risk that Mandy would say anything to anyone.

  
  


Melania seemed perfectly pleased with this meeting. Although she barely concealed her disagreement every time she saw Mandy bring her bottle of beer to her mouth.

 

Ian seemed just as uncomfortable as Mickey. Fortunately for Mickey, they were sitting opposite each other with Melania and Mandy between them, so that Mickey wasn't forced to be too closely present. However, he couldn't help but stealthily watch the young man every time he put the edge of his lips against the wall of his glass, where he could see the tip of his tongue sliding against his lips.

 

"Are you sure you should drink that much?" Melania asked, pointing to Mandy's second beer that Kev had just brought her.

 

Mandy raised an eyebrow surprised by the remark before answering.

 

"It's only  two beers and  I'm not drunk."

 

"I just figured that since-"

 

"Melania, come with me I have something I want to talk to you about," said Mickey, cutting the young woman in her talk.

  
  


She looked down at him, but the naughty look he tried to show on his face and the stare he gave to the bathroom seemed to be enough to motivate the young woman to abandon her moralizing discourse and follow him.

 

Mickey met Ian's gaze and thought he could see what he said upset Ian.

Without really understanding why the idea that the young man could be sad because of him was tearing his heart.

 

He let Melania follow him to the bathroom, ignoring Mandy's disapproving gaze and closing the door as soon as he was sure he was alone with the young woman in the room.

 

He drew her to him before placing his lips on her neck.

 

The smell of her perfume made him turn his head, and not in a good way.

Every time he got close to  her face he felt a furious desire to vomit.

But Melania's words to Mandy at the moment were far too dangerous, and he had to find a distraction to prevent Melania or Mandy from discovering the truth.

 

Given the small groan she let out, the young woman seemed to appreciate this moment.

 

Mickey felt Melania's hands rest on his buttocks and massage his ass roughly as if she were kneading bread dough.

 

He tried to think of something else to resist the urge to run out of the bathroom, and Ian's image flashed in his mind.

Not the one he had witnessed a few seconds ago, not the image of Ian desperate and sad, no, the image of Ian intoxicated by desire ... His skin blushing from exertion , the fine drops of sweat rolling along his body. His muscles bulding, his long fingers, his mouth half open in search of lips to kiss.

This image seemed so real to Mickey. It was this image that haunted his nights since he had left the hospital. The image of Ian completely naked beneath him, looking at him with eyes filled with desire and love, whispering to him that he loved him and trying to prove to him in whatever way he wanted.

 

The presence of Melania's perfume got worse as the young woman hung her arms around Mickey's neck and tried to kiss him greedily.

 

The image of Ian was brutally erased by the sensation of the tongue that the young woman had plunged violently into his mouth and she was swirling vulgarly against his.

 

Mickey pushed her away unceremoniously.

 

She looked at him for a moment shocked before asking him.

 

"I thought you wanted to do it?!?"

 

Mickey realized that he could never sleep with her.

When only the image of Ian was able to make him half hard, the slightest caress of this young woman made him want to throw up.

 

Until then, he had always managed to claim to be straight. He had never had a problem even if the person in front of him didn't interest him.

 

He tried to pull himself together thinking about all he could lose if he let Melania go.

Without her he couldn't leave home, he couldn't get away from Ian ...

 

He looked tenderly at the young woman before affirming.

 

"I feel like it ... I’m  just having a little trouble focusing in the restroom."

 

She showed a big smile before tackling Mickey's belt by saying.

 

"I'm going to help you to focus ..."

 

She got down on her knees and started to put her mouth on Mickey's cock that she had just pulled out of his boxers.

 

Once again the touch of Melania's mouth on his body made him want to throw up.

All her gestures seemed to him perfectly useless to see completely unpleasant.

Mickey caught himself thinking that he would surely have more pleasure if he let snails slip along his cock.

 

He tried to focus on Ian's image, but feeling Melania's tongue coming and going against his perfectly soft cock made it impossible to harden.

 

The young woman moved away before finally looking up to Mickey disgusted air and disappointed.

 

"You can't even get hard while I take you in my mouth! "

 

She got up and pushed Mickey violently out of the way before leaving the bathroom and asserting violently without paying any attention to who heard it.

 

"Call me if one day if you can manage to get hard. Otherwise, you can forget my number. "

 

* * *

 

 

Ian had his hands clenched around his glass since Mickey and Melania had gone to the bathroom.

Mandy had put her hand on his arm, trying to reassure him silently, but his efforts were unfortunately futile.

It wasn't hard to guess what Mickey and Melania were doing behind that door, and even though he knew that Mickey was gay, he also knew that his memories were of  before they went out together and when he slept with women to pretend to be straight.

The noise created by Melania's departure from the bathroom attracted his attention.

She didn't seem to have gotten what she wanted from Mickey and her words seemed to confirm the grimace she was currently displaying.

She quickly grabbed her bag still lying next to Mandy before going out like a fury from the bar.

Mickey went out soon after and came back to his place next to Mandy as if nothing had happened.

Ian tried to calm the tornado of emotion that was stirring inside him.

"What was that ?!?" Mandy asked firmly.

Mickey was silent for a moment until Mandy made him understand that she was waiting for an answer.

" Mickey!"

"Did I have a girlfriend during those years? I mean ... Do you know if I slept with ... Is that- "

"Why do you want to know that?" Mandy wondered at Mickey's sudden question.

Ian put his glass to his mouth to try to hide the confusion this question created in him.

"I think for a moment during those years I became impotent."

Mickey's statement resulted in Ian spitting out all the soda he had just put in his mouth.

Mandy grabbed the paper towels next to them to try to wipe the damage while Ian tried to regain his capacity.

"What the fuck man!" Growled Mickey.

"Sorry ..." Shyly said Ian was trying to hide the smirk he felt on his face.

The fact that Mickey could imagine that he could have become impotent during those forgotten years was perfectly laughable. All the memories of their hot nights came back to Ian.

At no point did Mickey have any problem on that side.

A simple kiss, a simple word usually made him hard.

"Didn't you manage to ...?" Mandy questioned without being able to finish her question correctly.

Mickey silently denied, not daring to look up at his sister and Ian.

It wasn't difficult to see how much he couldn't bear to talk about it with them.

Mandy took a deep breath before saying calmly and without any mockery.

"It may be your that your body remembers something that your memory doesn't let you know yet ..."

"What? The fact that I am impotent?!? "

"You're not impotent Mickey!" Mandy growled.

"All I know is that from what I remember I didn't have a problem getting it up, and now I can't even get hard  for Melania," Mickey growled before getting up.

"It's maybe just not the right person," said Mandy, before asking Mickey about his departure.

"I'm going home. I have no more motivation to drink. Anyway, I can't even drink. "


	11. You shouldn't be here Ian

Mickey kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling of his room.

In view of the sounds, he had heard earlier, Ian and Mandy had come home and had gone to bed.

 

A slight knock on his door was heard.

Mickey stood up and went to open.

He stopped short when he found himself face to face with Ian, as little dressed as him.

 

He felt his heart racing in front of Ian's bare-chested vision in front of him.

 

"I wanted to apologize for earlier," Ian said almost timidly before looking up at Mickey.

 

" What are you talking about?"

 

"Your question just now ... My reaction wasn't ... Appropriate," he said, searching for his words.

 

"No problem, man. Anyway, it's my problem, not yours- What are you doing?!? "

 

Ian had just put his hand against the fabric of Mickey's boxer shorts.

He knew he might have taken a step back to get rid of this contact, but he didn't want it at all.

 

"I thought I could help you ... with this problem ..."

 

"You're drunk?!?" Mickey asked.

 

"Maybe ..." Ian replied with a smile.

 

Mickey felt Ian's hand slowly tighten around him and start moving. His breathing quickened even more as Ian started to walk toward him.

 

He watched his brother-in-law close the door conscientiously before turning to him with a smile.

 

"You shouldn't be here Ian," Mickey said, trying to sound sincere.

 

"Do you have any idea how much beer I needed to get the courage to come to your room?" Ian asked, running his fingers down Mickey's neck.

 

"I've been wanting to do that since you walked in that door out of the hospital," he said, pressing his body to Mickey's and putting his mouth against his neck.

 

He lowered his hand down Mickey's chest and ran his fingers under the elastic of his boxers before kneeling and down it of Mickey at the same time, releasing Mickey's already hardened cock.

 

"I don't see any problem here ..." Ian said, staring at Mickey's crotch with a smile on his face.

 

"Do you want me to check more thoroughly?" He asked, looking up at Mickey.

 

Watching Ian on his knees before he moistened his lips by sliding his tongue against them was enough to give him the okay.

He couldn't refuse Ian's proposal.

 

He nodded to make the young man understand that he was perfectly ready to let him test everything he wanted on him, and Ian hurried to get to work.

 

Feel Ian's tongue dancing against sensitive skin. He felt his eyes roll in his orbits when Ian took him inside his mouth. And let out a groan when he felt Ian's hands rest on his buttocks and draw him even closer.

 

He felt Ian's fingers slide gently inward of his intimacy and start caressing his entrance.

 

Mickey tried to reduce his moans by sticking his fist against his mouth, but he couldn't hold back a new moan when Ian pushed one of his fingers inside him.

 

Ian let Mickey's cock slip from his mouth before staring at the young man in the eyes and affirming.

 

"I want you to come in my mouth. Can you do that for me? "

 

Mickey felt his cock harden even more to this idea. He nodded vigorously and thought he was going crazy when Ian took his cock back into his mouth without taking his eyes off him.

 

Without waiting any longer and without having time to tell Ian, Mickey came against the back of Ian's throat.

He watched the young man continue to slide his mouth against his hardened member swallowing all that Mickey wanted to give him.

 

Once he had finished, Ian let Mickey fall from his mouth and made his tongue dance against his lips.

His fingers were still inside Mickey, trying to gently open him.

 

Ian straightened up without leaving Mickey's inside and put his mouth against his to kiss him passionately.

Mickey immediately opened his mouth to let Ian insert his tongue and savored Ian's taste mix with the evidence of his pleasure.

 

"Now that I've checked everything works out in front ... I want to check that everything is working right behind..." Ian said, pushing his fingers deeper.

 

Mickey let Ian push him to his bed without any resistance.

Ian withdrew his fingers only to allow Mickey to lie on his stomach more easily and placed one of his arms under Mickey to force him to raise his ass a little to him.

 

Mickey now had his head shoved in the pillow and under his ass a few inches from Ian's face, and he could not imagine a better place than this one.

Nothing mattered to both of them and what they were doing.

 

Ian put his body on Mickey's, letting his hands caress his lover's body before finally letting his mouth go down Mickey's back and cover his skin with a kiss.

 

From his position, Mickey couldn't quite see Ian, and he was a bit sorry not to have a mirror installed in his room to enjoy the show. But this regret quickly disappeared from his thoughts when Ian's tongue began to stroke his entry.

The moistness of his mouth and the precision of his tongue quickly got the better of him. Mickey felt his vision flicker. He had trouble concentrating on anything because of the sensations that Ian was giving life to him.

Mickey tried to focus on something not to come again too quickly. He saw the tattoo that Ian had on his ribs and tried to focus only on that. But this desire was quickly swept away by a certain desire of Ian to make him lose his mind.

 

"I- I'll- I'll-"

 

Mickey tried to formulate a whole sentence, but the pressure was quickly too strong for him, he closed his eyes and he enjoyed again against the sheets while Ian's tongue continued to dance in him.

 

When he opened his eyes he realized he wasn't lying on his stomach but on his back. He was alone in this room still completely in the dark and his pants were now completely soiled.

 

Damn fucking dream, and fucking Ian!


	12. Banana pancakes

Ian blamed himself for being so transparent the day before when Mickey was out in the bathroom.

 

The idea that he could sleep with someone other than him horrified him.

He hadn't started to breathe normally until Melania had come out like a fury.

 

The idea that Mickey could be impotent had made him giggle, a reaction that hadn't escaped the young man.

 

Never did Mickey have even the slightest problem on that side. At least not with him.

 

Mandy had reprimanded him after Mickey's departure but had quickly confessed to being relieved by this turnaround.

 

It hadn't been hard for Ian to leave the bed that morning.

His night had been filled with images of Mickey and Melania, and despite all the will of the world, he had failed to convey to his subconscious that nothing had happened between them and that it could stop to show him such horrors.

 

Ian had taken advantage of his shortened night to tidy up the whole house. As a result, everything was perfectly in place long before the other family members awoke.

He took advantage of the rest of his time to prepare banana pancakes, thinking that it might be enough to soften Mickey's mood after the events of the day before.

 

Yev was the first to want to get up. Ian got him out of bed before he managed to wake up his aunt.

 

Ian made him a baby bottle that Yev regurgitated almost entirely on him, forcing Ian to make Yev take a bath, and change his t-shirts at the same time.

That's how he found himself shirtless that morning in the kitchen getting a bath at Yev when Mickey finally decided to get out of his room.

 

He noticed that Mickey avoided looking into his eyes, his reaction of the day had surely still upset him.

 

Ian let Yev dabble for a few minutes in the sink with his duck to get close to the fridge and take out the bowl filled with pancake mix.

He heated a pan and prepared the pancakes without trying to break the silence.

 

As soon as they were cooked he piled them up on a plate he placed in front of Mickey.

 

* * *

 

 

Mickey hesitated for a moment before finally planting his fork in the first pancakes on the pile, picking up a piece and bringing it to his mouth.

He liked the fact that Ian didn't try to talk to him, but was still disturbed by this renewed attention.

He paused for a moment when the first bite finally reached his tongue.

These pancakes were with banana.

In itself, it was nothing very special. It was a pretty common flavor.

But he was the only one in this house to enjoy banana pancakes.

Unless their tastes changed over time, Mandy thought they had a shitty taste and gave Iggy a desire to vomit.

Mickey stared at Ian's back, busy watching Yev in his bath.

His behavior  was becoming more and more strange.

Another detail caught Mickey's attention.

The tattoo that Ian had on his ribs. He was totally convinced to have seen this tattoo during his dream last night. But he was sure he had never seen Ian shirtless before.

He tried to reassure himself by imagining that he had simply forgotten that he had already seen him shirtless, just as he had forgotten all these recent years.

Mandy came out of her room a few minutes later and mechanically opened the fridge to take out the milk carton. She paused for a moment before asking Ian.

"What are the pancakes?"

"Banana!" Ian announced simply.

"I'll never understand how you can eat those things," she said closing the fridge.

She sat next to Mickey and looked disgusted at the stack of pancakes on his plate.

Ian's behavior and his tattoo made Mickey want to ask his sister several questions. But he preferred to remain silent because of Ian's presence.

Iggy didn't take long to join them and also sit next to him.

He mechanically grabbed a fork and pricked the first intact pancakes on Mickey's plate.

Ian, who had left the sink, slapped him on the hand, forcing him to let go of the fork before telling him.

" Don’t touch. Anyway, you don't like them, they are banana. "

"What!?! Why banana? It's disgusting."

"Stop bitching, and hurry up, you'll be late for work."

Mickey looked down at his plate and silently stared at his pancakes.

As in his memory, neither his brother nor his sister liked to eat them. However, those were the ones Ian had prepared this morning.

Iggy approached Yev, a cup of coffee in his hand.

"You want to eat these things too when you grow up? Like your father? "He asked the little boy who answered him with a grimace.

" Be careful! It stunts his  growth." he finally said before moving away laughing.

Mickey frowned, disturbed by his brother's reaction.

Nobody seemed to have reacted to this joke, so it was quite strange to make a comment on a so-called stopping of growth for Ian when Ian was taller than all the others in this room.

Mickey quickly finished his plate before returning to his room, leaning his back against the door and sliding on the floor.

The more time passed and the less Mickey felt that Ian and Mandy were Yev's parents. To tell the truth, he sometimes even felt that they weren't in a relationship.

He knew his sister well, and he knew how she acted when she was in love.

Certainly, she was very protective of Ian and seemed to get on well with him, but in no way did she act as she did before with her boyfriends.

Again, Mickey tried to reason with himself and tell himself that people could change, but doubt lingered in him.

An idea at once perfectly disturbing and surrealist was born in his mind.

Mandy had told him more than once that Ian was the father of this child, and at no time had he imagined that his mother could be anyone other than Mandy.

Why would she bring up someone else's son if that was the case?

Yet it wasn't about her or Ian that Iggy was usually making jokes about stunting... 

They hadn't the shrimp allergy that Yev also suffered.

And to think about it, all the physical traits that Mickey had previously attributed to Mandy could just as easily come from him.

It was possible that Yev was his son.

But even if it clarified some points, it didn't explain why Mandy claimed to be the mother, and especially not why she was riding on her high horse as soon as he dared to question Ian's fatherhood.

He tried to quickly drive this idea out of his mind. Having a son meant that there was necessarily a mother somewhere, and that idea didn't please him at all.

 

* * *

 

Mickey had finally left his room and Mandy had asked him to stay home to take care of Yevgeny.

The little boy was still a little sick, and his nanny refused to keep him in these conditions. All the other members of the family having to go to work, he was the only one who could keep Yev.

Mickey quickly realized that it would have been perfectly useless to try to say no to his sister.

He had stayed up all morning with the little boy and tried to understand what he wanted. The many chirps that Yev let slip didn't necessarily help Mickey, he finally decided to just sit next to the little boy to watch that he didn't put himself in danger.

The condition of the fridge had forced him to go out shopping, and he had discovered the joy of the stroller.

He had ended up getting Yev in the stroller and had walked to Kash and Grab.

Contrary to what he had imagined, it wasn't the turban who was at the cash register, but his wife.

She greeted him cordially before returning to work, letting him navigate the shelves.

Mickey remembered coming to this supermarket more than once to steal what he needed to eat. He also remembered perfectly well that the reception that this woman reserved for him wasn't so cordial at that time.

Disturbed by this change in behavior, he had not paid attention to the guy who had approached him and was now smiling at Yev, waving his hands.

"Hi, Yev! How are you? "He asked with a child's voice.

Mickey took a step back and stared at the stranger.

" Mickey! It's been ages since I’ve you. "

"Who are you ?!" growled Mickey, disturbed by the idea of being recognized by someone whose name he did not know.

"Gus!" He said before realizing that his name was leaving Mickey indifferent and adding.

"I was working with Ian at FairyTail. We saw you there more than once when you came looking for him. "

"Sorry, I don't remember."

"It's okay, it's been a long time," he said, trying not to look upset.

"Are you sure you're not mistaken?" Mickey asked without really believing his question.

How could this guy be wrong when he knew his name, that of Ian and even that of Yev.

"I think it's hard to forget a guy like you. And even back then, you made such a nice little family with Ian and Yev, I must admit that I was jealous. Well, that was before I met Remi. Now I too have the right to happiness just like you both. "Gus affirmed with a smile.

Mickey felt his legs slip beneath him. He stammered an excuse before hurriedly out of the store.

He paused for a moment to catch his breath and turned to the window. A cloud of images flooded his mind. He saw himself and Ian working together in this supermarket under Linda's orders. He remembered laughing with Ian, arguing with him, spending hours talking, and especially he remembered kissing him and fucking him in the cooler.

Mickey clung to the stroller handles and started walking without thinking.

He stopped when he was in front of The Alibi Room.

His heart began to beat faster and his vision to be troubled by tears.

He mechanically wiped his eyes from the back of his sleeve before being re-invaded by what he now knew to be memories.

He remembered Ian sitting at one of the bar tables staring at him.

He remembered approaching him and asking him to leave.

He remembered having quarreled with him and being relieved to see him get up to leave.

He remembered hearing Ian say it was over between them.

He remembered having heard that he was afraid of his father, his wife ...

He remembered his wife. The one he had married under the threat of his father.

He remembered Yev that they had after this rape that his father had orchestrated.

He also remembered having had the fear of his life when Ian had approached the exit of the bar and he remembered having done everything to hold him back because he couldn't imagine losing him.

He remembered Svetlana, his wife.

He remembered Yev, his son.

He remembered Ian, the man he loved.

The bar door opened, and Mickey saw Kev force a guy, obviously drunk dead, to leave.

Without the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, Mickey would surely have had no trouble recognizing Frank as the man put out unceremoniously, but his vision and mind were too confused for that.

Kev took a step towards him, and without thinking, Mickey grabbed the stroller and hurried away from there.

He didn't stop until he arrived home.

He didn't understand why he had come back there, or why he didn't leave Yev behind in such circumstances, as long as he knew he wanted to come back to this house, and he wanted to come back with the one he knew now be his son.

He looked up at the door and was struck again by a cloud of memory.

He leaned on the handles of the stroller to keep from falling.

He remembered the first night Ian had spent at his home.

He remembered the horror that followed his father's return.

He remembered that he couldn't accept Yev as his son.

He remembered Ian in this house.

He remembered them living almost as a normal, like a happy family.

He remembered everything.

He turned around when he heard a voice shout his name behind him.

It was Ian. He was a few steps from him, totally out of breath.


	13. Remember

Ian was chatting with Fiona and Lip or rather listening to them explain why Mickey would never be the one he knew when he received a call from Kev.

He had immediately responded, too happy to be able to end this discussion without having to shout at his brother and sister. But the distracted tone of Kev had quickly made him forget this stormy discussion.

 

The way Mickey fled when he tried to get close to him and the expression of fear he had displayed on his face had prompted Kev to call him immediately.

 

Ian had left Fiona and Lip without further explanation and had rushed to the Milkovich's house, hoping Mickey was there.

 

He saw him from afar, leaning on Yev's stroller, staring at the house.

 

Ian felt his heart stop when after calling Mickey, he could see that man's face.

His eyes were red, his cheeks were full of tears, he looked totally terrified.

 

Without thinking about it any longer, Ian walked the distance between them and hugged him.

 

He stood motionless for a few moments before finally moving away enough to frame Mickey's face with his hands.

 

" Mickey! Tell me what's wrong! "Ian asked, staring at him.

 

Mickey grabbed Ian's sleeve and tried to calm down.

 

"I- I-" He began to stammer before taking a deep breath, and finally being able to explain.

 

" I remember."

 

"Do you remember?" Ian asked as if he could not accept Mickey's claim.

 

Mickey silently confirmed before putting his hand on Ian's cheek.

 

"I remember the prison, the attack of Terry, Svetlana, Yev ... Us-" he finally affirmed before collapsing on the spot.

 

* * *

 

 

Mickey woke up in his bed, with a sore head. He felt like he had participated in the biggest  pub crawl  in history.

He tried to get up but quickly realized that he could not move his left arm.

He glanced over and found Ian, sleeping on him, blocking any movement.

The young man's fingers were clenched around the fabric of his sleeves, and even sleep did not seem to have softened his grip.

Mickey stayed a few minutes looking at him silently.

His memories were still a little confused in his mind, but he remembered Ian now without difficulty.

He remembered the first time he'd seen him behind Kash and Grab's counter.

He remembered all those times when he'd been stealing from that same grocery store just to get his attention.

He remembered his first time with Ian.

The crowbar he had used to threaten him, their eyes that had crossed when he had finally mastered him.

He remembered the pleasure that had erased the fear and he also remembered his desire to start again, to see Ian again, to touch him again, and to kiss him, even if he said the opposite.

He also remembered Terry's fury when he surprised them and felt that the horror that followed was the day before.

He remembered the fear that had gripped him about Ian's fate and the relief he had felt when he realized that his father would only attack him.

He remembered the horror in Ian's eyes when he witnessed this scene and also remembered that he wanted to cut short his ordeal and get away from him so he never had to live it again.

He remembered the urge to scream and vomit that hadn't left him since that day, that horrible feeling that had only worsened from Ian and that had disappeared only when he finally managed to say who he really was.

He remembered the difficulties he had encountered later on, but he also remembered the few moments when together they formed what was closest in his eyes to a family and where he was the happiest of men.

He gently stroked Ian's cheek and pushed a lock of hair down on his forehead.

The young man looked deeply asleep.

Mickey smiled as he watched him cling even more tightly to his arm.

Ian had always been possessive, and that was something he liked about him.

Seeing Ian being jealous made him feel important, unique.

The door of the room opened slowly to reveal Mandy.

  
  


The young woman opened her mouth visibly determined to express her joy and relief at seeing her brother awake when he waved him off so as not to wake Ian.

She sat quietly on the other side of the bed and stared at her friend with a smug smile before turning to her brother and asking him.

"You're okay?"

Mickey nodded.

He still had a big headache and some of his memories were confused, but now that he remembered Ian and he had this one next to him he could only get well.

"Ian said you remembered ..." she said shyly.

Once again Mickey nodded.

"What- What made you remember?" She asked softly.

"I met a guy who knew me and who knew Ian ... He asked me about him and started saying weird stuff like we were together ... I thought he was crazy at first, but I don't know why something inside me made me think it was true, "he said in a small voice so as not to wake Ian.

"And from the moment I started to tell myself that it was possible, everything came back to me. I don't know why, or even really how, but I found myself in front of The Alibi and I remembered other things and then more, and finally I remembered everything ... "He explained without leaving Ian's eyes.

Mandy grinned before asking.

"And do you remember what happened since you were released from prison?"

Mickey turned to her and noticed the smirk she was showing now.

He thought for a moment, trying to clean up his memories before asking.

"Are you talking about your little comedy of your so-called couple?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you tried to use Melania to leave here-"

"What did you want me to do?" Mickey asked before explaining.

"Stay here with you and your "boyfriend" when I wanted to sleep with him?"

"You would have dared to sleep with my husband?!?" Mandy asked, pretending to be outraged.

"I'll let you know I did everything I could to avoid it," said Mickey.

"I 'm sorry about that..." Announced the young woman looking down.

"Why?!?" Mickey growled in surprise at his sister's behavior.

"I hated the idea that you should pretend to be straight ... It reminded me how much you had to do it for all these years to not get caught. You had already made your coming out and so you found yourself again pretending to be attracted to women- "

"Stop bullshiting! It wasn't you who pushed me to do that!" Said Mickey.

"If I had known that memory would come back to you that way I wouldn't have told everyone to shut up ... You can't imagine how much money I spent for some of the regulars at the bar to close their big mouths. "

"Did you pay them ?!?" Asked Mickey surprised.

"Yes. Iggy and Colin proposed to just threaten them, but Ian didn't want us to continue as before ... Like when there was Terry, so we paid a few, "she explained almost reluctantly.

"If I had known I would have let them open their big mouth ... It would have saved me hours to hear Ian crying-"

Mandy stopped short, regretting automatically what she had just said.

Mickey turned to Ian still asleep against him before asking his sister.

"How- His meds-"

"He's fine," Mandy cut in before affirming.

"We went to see his doctor as soon as we knew about you and he will see her very regularly. He had a little trouble at first, but I know he's really careful. He even agreed that Iggy and I are watching his medication. You know how much he hates that ... It's to tell you how much he wants to be better... For you, and for Yev. "

Mickey giggled before saying.

"I don't know how I could have believed even for a moment that you both were together."

"Fuck you!" Mandy grumbled, throwing his fist on her brother's shoulder.

"We make a very beautiful couple! And besides, it isn’t a total lie. "

"Huh?" Repeated Mickey amazed.

"I told you that we had gone out together at a younger age, which is technically true, even though it was fake at the time. I told you he was with someone other than me when Yev was born, and that I was happy for them ... Which again is true. The only thing I lied about was being Yev's mother ... "

Mandy smiled a sad smile before explaining.

"We could not talk to you about Svetlana without explaining a lot of things ... So we thought it would be the most convincing ... And in the end, it wasn't the first time I was pretending to go out with a guy attracted to my brother. "

Mickey could not repress a small laugh at this statement.

"You laughed less when you thought you had become impotent," Mandy pointed out nonchalantly.

Mickey stared at her.

"This idea seemed to make Ian laugh a lot anyway. I don't necessarily want to talk about your antics, but from what I understand you aren't necessarily the kind impotent, at least not with him. "She explained.

"If you don't want me to talk about it, you better change the subject," growled Mickey.

"Okay! Okay! I don't want to know more! "Mandy said, raising her hands in peace.

They remained silent for a moment, savoring this moment.

"The doctor said that physically you were fine ... He said you should monitor your condition in the next few days, and if you had severe headaches or unconsciousness you had to be taken to the emergency room." Mandy explained. looking up at his brother.

"I'm fine," he growled at the worried look of his sister.

"I'm fine," he said again, turning to Ian.

 

* * *

 

 

Ian woke up lying on Mickey's bed.

He remembered watching him all night lest his condition worsened, but he didn't remember falling asleep, especially not in bed.

The room was empty, but the door let in bits of discussion.

Ian quickly stood up suddenly overwhelmed by the terrible idea that all this could have been a dream.

Mandy was sitting at the table busy feeding Yev and Iggy was busy cooking.

The absence of Mickey amplified Ian's fear. The idea that all this could have been the fruit of his imagination terrorized him.

"You're ok firecrotch?" Asked a familiar voice behind him.

Ian turned instantly to face Mickey.

His heart was beating fast.

He didn't know if he had really heard this nickname coming out of Mickey's mouth or if it was just an illusion.

"What did you call me?" Ian asked wide-eyed.

"What do you mean? Don't you like me calling you that? "Mickey asked, coming closer without leaving Ian's eyes.

"Tell me it's not a dream," Ian ordered.

Mickey smiled before asking.

"Do you think if it was a dream, we would  be here with them instead of being naked in my room?"

Without thinking any longer, Ian threw himself on Mickey's neck and pressed his lips to his. He pressed his tongue into  Mickey’s mouth to let him in and the latter obeyed without waiting.

Ian felt like he had waited for ever since their last kiss and didn't want to let Mickey leave his mouth just to breathe.

Ian wouldn’t let Mickey get away until he finally hears Mandy and Iggy's moans of disgust.

Mickey turned to them with his finger up.

"Shut up!" He growled before turning his attention back to Ian.

"Get a room!" Iggy asserted from the kitchen.

"Pay no attention to them," Mickey said before being cut by the fist Ian had just sent against his shoulder.

"Ouch! Why are you hitting me?!? "

"You tried to sleep with this slut when I was right next to you." said Ian.

"Can we decide that you don't have the right to blame me for what I did when I lost my memory?" Mickey asked, rubbing his shoulder to let go the pain.

As a response, Ian shoved his fist back against Mickey's shoulder.

"Ian! I said we didn't care about what I did when I didn't remember! It does not matter! "Growled Mickey.

"It's for making Terry come after you! And I know you had all your memory then! "Ian growled in his turn.

"I would do it again..." said Mickey without flinching.

"I couldn't stand there doing anything when he wanted to attack you ...," he said calmly.

"The only thing I really regret is not being there to see that bastard crushed by this truck. It must have been very funny to see, "he added with a big smile.

"What about not remembering me?!?" Ian growled.

Mickey inhaled deeply before affirming.

"I hate this idea. I hated to see you there next to me and to not be able to be with you. And I know you hated this situation at least as much as me ... But if I had to do it again, I would. I prefer knowing you’re all safe, alive, even if it means never being able to be with you. "

Ian was silent for a while before hitting  Mickey's shoulder again.

"The fuck?!?" Mickey growled before being silenced by Ian's lips on his.

"If you do anything like that again, I'll kill you," Ian said against Mickey's mouth.

"Don't worry, I don't think I have any other psychopathic fathers that I need to get rid of," Mickey said before prolonging their kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

Ian had spent the rest of the day less than one inch away from Mickey, only letting him go to the bathroom.

This didn't displease Mickey who would have preferred not to leave Ian's arms all day.

Mandy had insisted on leaving the house, hoping at the same time to be able to separate the two lovers.

Their arrival to The Alibi surprised many, but astonishment soon gave way to the joy of the good news.

Even after recovering his memory, Mickey was still struggling with being accepted so easily among all these people.

His joy faded a little when he realized that Mandy was still intent on banning all alcohol until the end of the month. But this slight constraint quickly disappeared from his mind when he felt Ian's hand against his.

He knew that Ian had a hard time withstanding this separation, especially since they lived in the same house. But as he had told him earlier in the day, knowing them safe was well worth the sacrifice.

Ian smiled at him before kissing his lips.

By this simple gesture, all his heavy thoughts disappeared to leave only the beauty of that moment, and his love for the man he had in front of him.

He had fallen in love with Ian and was ready to do anything to protect him, and even after he had forgotten he had fallen in love again.

He was certain now, no matter what was waiting for them, Ian would be forever the man of his life.


End file.
